It’s a common thing to log onto Facebook and see a ton of photos of some natural wonderment, or a simple beautiful setting. A mountain with puffs of white, snowy clouds blowing off the top, or a waterfall with fractured rainbows dancing all around it. And atop all these beautiful pictures are pretty letters put together to give a message. They are so ingeniously put together, that they must be true…right? Well, I have to disagree. I read what half of these things say and wonder what the hell these people are talking about. The other half of the time, I see a post with equally as much beauty involved, and they completely contradict with the other is saying. So here’s a list of the ones that get me the most.
Some Version of “It doesn’t matter what others think of me:”
Okay, first of all, yes it does. Second of all, it’s way more complicated than that. It doesn’t matter if someone thinks your taste in clothes or music sucks. It doesn’t matter if someone thinks you are fat. It doesn’t matter that someone thinks your hair looks like a ‘chicken’s butt in the wind’ as my husband likes to say. What does matter is your reputation. If you are known for being an asshole, that’s probably because you’ve gone around acting like an asshole. And who wants to hang out with an asshole? No one. If you are known for being a liar, same sentiment. Now why does it matter that you have such a reputation?
Well, for one thing we are human beings. As such, we are social creatures. Even introverts, such as myself, require human contact and interaction with our own species. Dogs and cats are wonderful substitutes when no one is around, but they cannot hold an actual conversation with you. Unfortunately, you need that. Otherwise you turn into some weird guy with a ten-foot beard who ends up being cast on the next episode of Hoarders. And then not only do people think the previously mentioned things about you, but now they think you’re a nut job. Do you really believe that doesn’t matter? If so…well I’d love to meet your psychologist.
You don’t lose friends, you learn who your real friends are
Yeah…no. That’s stupid. You can definitely lose friends, and it hurts. Usually it’s over something one or the other has done and it cannot be reconciled. That something has no bearing on how each of you felt about one another prior to its happening. We are, in fact, human beings, and we make mistakes. We have to learn what to do and what not to do, even up into our adult years.
As toddlers we learn it’s best not to pull Sally’s hair or bite Adam’s arm. As teens we learn it’s best not to talk badly about our friends behind their backs. As young adults we learn it’s best not to kiss your best friend’s boyfriend. As less young adults we learn more complicated lessons. Things are never as black and white as they seem. (You can discuss your hatred of a politician, but don’t insult someone’s religious views. Also, don’t forget not to tell their their kid that they’re adopted. Even if you didn’t know they didn’t know.) Especially these days with the internet on the “I’m offended” fury path. Anyone can walk away because something you have said or done has hurt them so horrendously that they believe the injury to be fatal to your relationship.
So yes, you can and will lose real friends. It hurts, but it’s the truth.
People who are only your friends until they no longer need you were never friends.
Are you telling me that friendship doesn’t include need? If that’s the case, then what is the point of friendship in the first place? Also, why do your friends suddenly not need you? Did you stop providing the part of your relationship which they so very much depended upon, or did someone else start to provide it better? Here’s the thing. I get what the message is trying to say, but I don’t think it’s really saying it the right way.
Friends need each other. That’s why we are friends. We need the companionship, the understanding, that shoulder to cry on, that affirmation that we are worth the time it takes to listen to our own whines and worries, that special bond only they can provide.
Then again, if someone is only using you for monetary gain, or only calls you to beg for a place to stay, then they probably are not your friend. However, you have to examine it more closely. What do they provide for you? Love? Patience? Acceptance? An ear? If not…consider your friendship, but do so wisely.
Something along the lines of women and men are equal at everything.
I’m not necessarily a full-blown, modern-day feminist. However, I’m also not against the message they try to convey. What I can’t agree with is women can do anything a man can do and a man can do anything a woman can do.
First of all, women are not built like men. Biologically, physically, or whatever you want to call it, speaking, women are smaller. We have smaller muscles, a different center of balance, a smaller frame, and more fat. We are not built to do all the things men can do. That is just how it is. Why are we trying to pretend we can run and jump and fight like men? Yes, there are some women who break the rules, but that isn’t the norm. Put a woman with years upon years of training up against a man with the same amount of training and the woman would be at a disadvantage. I don’t think saying you can beat him is going to make you win. Kudos if you could!
Then again, men aren’t able to express and understand emotions nearly as well as women. We tend to be more sympathetic, empathetic, and nurturing. We have evolved to excel in these things. Why? Well, my guess would be that nature meant for women to be mothers. Not that all women want or ever feel the desire to do so, but that doesn’t mean our bodies and minds weren’t built for it. Women are naturally inclined to care for someone in pain, or help others in need. I think that instinct stems from a long line of mothers.
What we are equal at is the potential for high intelligence, strong will, and the ability to pay one another the respect we deserve.
All I’m saying is, just because something is written in pretty letters and put on top of a picture of some pretty mountain, doesn’t make it entirely true.